Reinventing the Glengarry Glen Ross "Hyundai" Scene

Hyundai has amazingly revamped not only its cars, but the perception of its cars by the general public. Once the laughingstock of late night talk show hosts and the punch-line of jokes, Hyundai has had a terrific past 24 months with a recent article trumpeting that "Hyundai no longer the Dangerfield of cars". Of course, probably more meaningful to Hyundai execs is the 2009 Car of the Year award it won for the Hyundai Genesis, a $32,000 luxury sedan which has features and drives like its Mercedes or BMW counterparts at just a fraction of the cost.

I can't help but remember the classic scene in "Glengarry Glen Ross" when an arrogant (and wildly successful) salesman named Blake (Alec Baldwin) verbally destroys a group of less successful salesmen (Ed Harris, Alan Arkin, and Jack Lemmon) in a "pep talk". Here's an excerpt of the exchange (pardon the foul language, but David Mamet did a great job with the script and the profanity actually is necessary to capture the spirit of the exchange):

Dave Moss: What's your name?

Blake: "Fuck you!" That's my name.

Dave Moss: [laughs]

Blake: You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight; I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name.

The entire scene also includes Blake saying things like "That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy, I don't give a shit. Good father, fuck you. Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here, close." It's classic.

Anyway, with the emergence of Hyundai, here's how the scene might look now (again, pardon the language):

Dave Moss: What's your name?

Blake: "Fuck you!" That's my name.

Dave Moss: [laughs]

Blake: You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight; I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name.

Dave Moss: [laughs again]

Blake: What the fuck are you laughing at, asshole?

Dave Moss: I'm laughing at you, cocksucker. I'm laughing at you for spending more than twice as much as my Genesis, which destroys your car in the 0-30, 0-60, skidpad and slalom. Ultraviolet reflective leather heated seats, ultrasonic bumper sensors and wood trim? Oh, I have those, too. And we both have the J.D. Power award for best initial quality... oh, I'm sorry, you don't have one of those for your overpriced German piece of shit, do you? And as for that $40K that I saved? I'd just watch your back for menacing looking men who might be reaching inside their coat pockets. Checkmate, asshole!

Blake: [stunned silence]

And to alter for television advertising akin to those DirectTV commercials, I'd have Dave Moss (Ed Harris) turn to the camera, smile and say, "You can find great deals at your local Tri-State Hyundai dealer today!"