Emmanuel Classic - Week 1 Recap

Here's the recap from opening weekend. Looks like it'll be a barn-burner of a season:

Millburn Mustangs over Team Singletary. The good news for Coach Lin and Team Singletary is that the 49ers beat the defending NFC champion Arizona Cardinals in a gritty win on the road. The bad news is that the fantasy team still got spanked by the Millburn Mustangs, aided in part by 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis. On the downside for the Mustangs, QB Donovan McNabb got hurt. In other shocking news, grass is green and the sky is blue. Introducing Mark Sanchez, your new Millburn Mustangs starting QB!

Pablo over Beginner's Luck?. A gritty effort by the neophyte Beginner's Luck found them on the short side of a match with Pablo, despite an inauspicious debut by QB Jay Cutler, who threw zero touchdowns and four interceptions. He was aided by a standout 24 point performance by Reggie Wayne, who I'll again note that Coach Huang almost traded for journeyman safety Roman Harper. For 'Luck, they were hurt by terrible offensive production in the Broncos vs. Bengals game. When your three wide receivers total five points, that's bad. Real bad.

Cooler than Baptists over HE HATE ME. This was a tightly contested match, which might have gone the other way had WR Anthony Gonzalez not tore up his knee, taking him out for the next 4-6 weeks. Coach Song was largely criticized by the league for allegedly berating an injured Gonzalez in the locker room, blasting him for "ruining who should have been a fantastic Week 1 victory."

Laser Jets over No Yankees. Like the game with Team Singletary, the good news is that the Giants won, the bad news is that they still fell short against Coach Lee's Laser Jets. Interesting to note that Coach Tae's all-Giants team would have beat a number of the other "mixed" teams, which speaks to the dominating performance of the G-Men this past Sunday. As a Giants fan, I'd like to see more of that.

Go Yankees over Midgets. Coach Kang is apparently out of town and hasn't touched his team since the draft (paging Tim Kang, paging Tim Kang), but that should take nothing away from Coach Beenken and Go Yankees' dominating performance. Having Adrian Peterson tear it up for 37 fantasy points certainly helped.

ANSKY over Trail Mix. This was a shootout, and probably the most entertaining matchup of the week, as Coach Lee's ANSKY topped Coach Yeoh's Trail Mix on the strength of Drew Brees' league high 48 fantasy points. Coach Yeoh allegedly banned Kevin Walter from the post-game buffet and made him run laps for "failing to show up" and admonished Peyton Manning to "stop filming commercials and put some fantasy points up for the team."

Hamsters over Don't Tread on Me. The bad news for Coach Cummings (but great news for Jets fans) was that Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson absolutely stunk up Reliant Stadium, combining for a measly nine fantasy points as opposed to the 30 projected. The even worse news for Don't Tread on Me is that stud linebacker Brian Urlacher is out for the season. Only concern for Coach Cheng's Hamsters is that Carson Palmer looks like a risk as a starting QB. Perhaps he should propose a trade with Laser Jets to swap Palmer for Tom Brady. That'd go over well.