A Tri-Generational Day Trip

With a couple more free days of vacation to burn before returning to work, I thought I'd spend a little quality time with Daniel and do a little day trip into the city. At the suggestion of my wife, I decided to also invite my father to tag along. I called my dad and extended the invitation, and he initially declined, telling me that he had to run some errands with my mother.

About five minutes later, I received a phone call from my mom telling me that she thought that it would be a great idea if my father went with Daniel and me (i.e. please get your father out of my hair). Lest I pick on my poor father, Sarah also encouraged us to stay in the city through dinner. Hmm... you think the women were interested in getting the men out of the house?

Our plan was to go to the MTA Transit Museum in Brooklyn, which seemed like a slam dunk for Daniel to enjoy. Three generation of Kuo men got onto the NJ Transit train in Millburn and made our way to the city in a train that was actually quite full of families who were presumably doing some holiday week city visiting as well. Daniel, as always, loved the train ride, and my father continued to rave about the convenience of the commuter train. We caught up on some small talk about family friends and such while Daniel stared out the window, thoroughly enjoying his train ride.

The museum wasn't bad. It detailed some history of the development of the New York City subway as well as tunnels and bridges in the area. The museum itself is actually a retired subway station, and on the tracks are vintage subway cars. We walked through multiple generations of subways cars, going back to 1906, and then had a chance to other exhibits around buses and reduced emission vehicles. Daniel, however, was quite disappointed as he had anticipated seeing more trains (not just subway cars) and working models as we had in our previous visit to a train museum in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. His disappointment was somewhat assuaged when we had an opportunity to ride on one of the new double-decker NJ Transit double-decker trains on the way home.

What I appreciated most was the chance to spend quality time with my son and my father. I think my relationship with my dad has actually improved a great deal (despite some typical first-generation Asian father foibles, one of which I related in a previous blog), and I think there's a number of reasons for this.

For one, being a father of a son has given me an appreciation for the difficulty for being a dad. I think my father also sees my parenting and things well of my efforts. By the grace of God, we're also both changing and I think our shared love and affection for Daniel, which was evident on this day trip, also has helped our relationship. Seeing my father's kindness and encouragement towards Daniel could tempt me to resentfully wonder why such tenderness was rarely given to me as a child, but it doesn't bother me in the least. I believe that (1) the relationship of a grandfather is much different than a dad and (2) my father might very well be a better grandfather than father, and that's okay to me. I'm extremely grateful and happy of his affinity towards my son, and I know that this has been a win-win-win for all of us.