I Guess This Means Obama Will Be a One-Term President

A recent article in the NY Post discusses the convergence of a number of predeictions that the Earth will meet its demise in December 21, 2012. The great thing is that this article doesn't simply give one doomsday scenario - there are many. I personally think the "Pole Shift" seems pretty cool.

I tend to take this with a grain of salt, as "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man." (Matthew 24:36-37) But just for kicks and giggles, I wonder what life might be like on December 21, 2012 in an alternative reality where the Mayans are correct.

December 21, 2012 is a Friday, which will likely be the day of our company holiday open house. Daniel will be seven years old going on eight and Sophia will have just celebrated her fifth birthday. Sophia would find interacting with all of the costumed friends like Santa Claus, Elmo, and Nemo far more interesting than Daniel, who might already be in his "too cool for this" stage. Daniel instead opts to stay in my office, log into my laptop and hack into our network increasingly influenced by a society where children can do no wrong, but are instead "expressing themselves". After grabbing a space-age freeze dried post-consumer recycled lunch, we walk back to the Penn Station monorail center while they both batter me with appeals around things they want for Christmas, after being bombarded with pervasive advertising from every possible source. The technology at the time will provide no shelter to media - customized advertising will be given to you while you brush your teeth and take a shower. My kids do not escape the overwhelming influence of an increasingly permissive society which holds no taboo on anything, but instead encourages rampant consumerism in the name of "individualism". Without any moral compass, they begin to experiment with drugs beyond the legalized marijuana they distribute at school.


I am really starting to feel my age as I hit the upper 30's. I've become obese due to a poor diet of Taco-flavored Doritos and Wise Onion Rings and my stagnant recreational softball career, having been demoralized at constant beatings of the Fightin' Reformers. Sarah and I go through the motions in a loveless marriage devastated by failed careers and her addiction to chocolate. Our moldy basement is mostly barren except a foosball table covered with cobwebs. Sarah spends her nights eating bowls of soggy Cap'n Crunch looking through an old high school yearbook pining for past years of happiness. I spend my evenings crouched next to the water heater obsessed with trying to find a mathematical proof which explains why it is impossible to divide by zero. Driven to insanity, we wonder aloud if God has abandoned us.

Yikes, this dreary story is more scary than the end of the world scenario when the planet Nibiru plows into Earth's orbit - and makes the trailer of "Revolutionary Road" look like a feel good story. I've suddenly turned this blog entry into an "A Christmas Carol" premise. That's all well and good, but I'm not giving up my Doritos.