- Food: "This rice has so much green stuff on it! I don't want the vegetables!" Well, his antipathy towards vegetables is where the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree, but that's no excuse.
- Activities: "I don't want to do taekwondo any more! I'm so tired!" Right, so we'll continue the pattern of you begging to do an activity, and you wanting to quit it after two months.
- Church: (While sitting in a pew) "I'm so hungry!" or "I'm so tired!"
- School: "I'm so tired! Do I have to go to school today?"
- Playing Music: "I'm tired of piano! I never get to do any fun activities!"
- Listening to Music: (While in the car) "Why can't we listen to kids music? We always listen to your music!"
- Transportation: "It takes so long! It's so far! We have to go on three highways!"
- Recreation: "You never let me do a fun activity! When can I use the computer?"
I could go on, but you get the general theme. I should also be fair in pointing out that the whining doesn't happen all the time, but enough that I can visualize it and break into hives as I type. Naturally, we've tackled this with a lot of dialogue, some not as patient and even-tempered as we'd like, but suffice it to say that there's a lot of conversation around us addressing his discontent in pretty much all areas of his life. We counsel him on the upsides and benefits of that which he is whining about, and talk about having a good attitude.
However, I've come to the conclusion that kids, including Daniel, aren't greater culprits and whining than me or most adults - it's just that we do it under our breath better. Or put another way, whining is simply an outward manifestation of a heart of discontent, which is the root (and worse underlying) problem - most adults have learned that people around them don't want to hear their whining so they simply shut up and internalize it. So as an adult, I'm a terrible whiner, it just doesn't happen to be audible, or I can do it in a way which sounds way more eloquent so it doesn't seem like whining at all.
Contentment is really a spiritual discipline. This is evident in Philippians 4, and our lack of contentment, when it boils down to it, comes down to a fundamental lack of faith articulated as a combination of "God, I don't think you know what's best for me", "God, I don't think you can do anything about it", and/or "God, I don't think you want to do anything about it." Clearly this doesn't mean that life isn't at times difficult, nor should we not acknowledge when it is. But there's a longer-term trust in the plans of a God who is greater and wiser than yourself, and rest of the soul which marks the content heart.
So Daniel and I both can improve in this area of whining. But yes, Daniel, I'd prefer to hear a lot less of it, too.
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2 comments:
As usual, I think you're a very talented writer. You should submit some of these to the New York Times "Rant" section. They have no religious overtones, but same ideas anyway.
I think whining is also done if you think something can come of it. Children are much more hopeful, or much less apt to give up than adult. For example, I don't whine to my boss. A, it looks bad. B, whining that I don't make enough money will not actually get me a raise. Children whine because they believe (or hope) that by whining enough, Mom or Dad will give in just to shut them up. One thing I'm learning as a parent is when to give in to the whine and when it's better to put up with it.
Thanks for the kind words. I'm sure Paul Krugman is terrified about the prospect of sharing a page with me.
You make a great point, though there are exceptions to your theory. For example, a too common corporate phenomenon is the promotion (out of the department) of high-maintenance and insufferable employees. This usually happens in when you combine an HR policy which makes firing employees a bureaucratic nightmare, and a boss who is too lazy or cowardly to take the path of greater resistance.
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