Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Emmanuel Classic - Week 12 Recap

Millburn Mustangs over Go Yankees. My Mustangs punch their ticket into the playoffs with a gritty (and somewhat lucky) win over Coach Beenken's Go Yankees, aided largely by Matt Ryan being knocked out early in the game after throwing for a measly six yards. Make no mistake, my team underperformed, but Go Yankees got even more disappointing output from its offensive stars.

HE HATE ME over Beginner's Luck? Great win for Coach Song's HE HATE ME, allowing them to leap into temporary possession of the last playoff spot. Notwithstanding two monster performances from HE HATE ME's Charles Woodson and Brett Favre, the blowout was largely aided by a contagious case of the concussion going around Beginner's Luck locker, taking both Ben Roethlisberger and Kurt Warner out. Coach Kwon doesn't need a better coach, he needs a team neurologist. Despite the setback, Beginner's Luck clinched a playoff spot.

Pablo over Team Singletary. It was a must-win game for Coach Huang and Pablo, and survive they did, with win over Coach Lin's plucky Team Singletary. Pablo is barely alive in the playoff hunt, but stranger things have happened - I'll try to make sense of things later in the recap.

Cooler than Baptists over No Yankees. Coach Fehringer's Cooler than Baptists have gone from barely alive to safely embedded as the "team nobody in the playoffs wants to play", and with a matchup against Team Singletary to close out their season, you'd have to say chances are good that they'll clinch next week. This is definitely a dark horse who can end up winning it all. As for Coach Tae's No Yankees, the woes of the team correlate with those of the New York Giants, and if Eli Manning's foot is getting worse as rumored and the team begins to freefall, it could get ugly.

Punch in the Face over Trail Mix. Another week, another win for Coach Lee's Punch in the Face with great performances by waiver wire pickup Robert Meacham and Pablo castoff Antonio Gates. Punch in the Face has, some weeks, kept its undefeated streak intact thanks to playing the right team on the right week. Not this week - they were definitely positioned to score big. As for Coach Yeoh's Trail Mix, his squad gets dangerously close to playoff elimination and will definitely need some help to make it to the dance.

Midgets over Don't Tread on Me. A costly loss for Coach Cummings' Don't Tread on Me, who falls to the Midgets behind strong performances by Philip Rivers and Marques Colston. You know, looking at Coach Kang's roster, his team isn't that bad - you might have to chalk up some of those losses from just bad matchups here and there. It's hard to believe that team had only won one game previous to this one. Don't Tread on Me also falls into dangerous playoff elimination territory with the loss.

ANSKY over Hamsters. In what might be semi-final or championship game preview, Coach Lee's ANSKY took out Coach Cheng's Hamsters behind a monster game from Drew Brees (who also mauled the Patriots to the delight of Patriots-haters) and nice "revenge" games from ex-Hamsters Percy Harvin and DeSean Jackson. The Ochocinco/Celek/Harvin/Jackson trade is definitely not working out well for Coach Cheng. Did he err in not making a more generous offer for Antonio Gates? Will it haunt him in the playoffs? Time will tell.

So the basic situation is that there are five team in the running for the two remaining playoff spots. Here are the most realistic (e.g. let's assume Cooler than Baptists will beat Team Singletary), but not comprehensive, scenarios that can get certain teams in:

Cooler than Baptists and HE HATE ME: Win and they're in. They control their own destiny, so to say.

Don't Tread on Me: Need to beat ANSKY, and needs Pablo to beat HE HATE ME (but with Pablo not scoring more than 50 points higher than Don't Tread on Me), and need Trail Mix to either lose or score no more than 38 higher than Don't Tread on Me.

Trail Mix: Needs to beat the Midgets, and needs both Pablo to beat HE HATE ME and Don't Tread on Me to either lose to ANSKY, or score 49 less points than them in a victory.

Pablo: Needs to beat HE HATE ME, and have Don't Tread on Me lose to ANSKY, and have Trail Mix either lose to the Midgets, or score at least 12 point less than Pablo.

Does that makes sense? I have no idea if it does, but everything will be clear in a week.

Updated Standings (Top 8 after Week 13 go to playoffs, * clinched playoff spot):

*1. Punch in the Face (Lee) 12-0-0
*2. Hamsters (Cheng) 8-4-0
*3. ANSKY (Lee) 8-4-0
*4. Millburn Mustangs (Kuo) 8-4-0
*5. No Yankees (Tae) 7-5-0
*6. Beginner's Luck? (Kwon) 7-5-0
7 Cooler than Baptists (Fehringer) 6-6-0
8 HE HATE ME (Song) 6-6-0
9 Don't Tread on Me 5-7-0
10 Trail Mix (Yeoh) 5-7-0
11 Pablo (Huang) 5-7-0
12 Go Yankees (Beenken) 4-8-0
13 Midgets (Kang) 2-10-0
14 Team Singletary (Lin) 1-11-0

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