A Culture of Encouragement

I've come to realize that as a whole, our society doesn't value encouragement - and as a male, I'll confess that men are absolutely terrible at this. As someone who can be sarcastic and sardonic, I'm fully aware that encouraging people doesn't come naturally - while ripping on others seems to be a natural talent for everyone. The workplace is filled with people who have forgotten the simple discipline of saying "good job" or "thank you", while thinly-veiled shots at others are commonplace. Even in terms of humor, it's far easier to demean others than to make a self-effacing joke at your own expense. And as long as insecurity in people reigns, people will overcompensate by making fun of others. So I take comfort in witnessing the culture of encouragement wherever I can.

The one place where encouragement is emphasized with the subtlety of a sledgehammer is in raising children, which makes all the sense in the world, and I find it helpful to be immersed in this to counteract all the other parts of my life where this spirit is rare if not absent.

We've started the potty-training process in earnest for Sophia recently, and while it's slow coming, I appreciate the deliberate focus that my wife has on encouraging my daughter. The routine starts with letting our daughter roam bottomless around the kitchen after she eats, and then at a certain point, Sarah picks Sophia up and plops her on the mini-potty OR Sophia prematurely shows "the look on her face" and starts creeping towards a corner of the room, at which points Sarah shrieks and runs to grab Sophia before she leaves us presents on the floor.

If we time things correctly, Sophia will sit on the potty while Daniel reads her a Dr. Seuss book, during which I'm pumping my fist at the double-win of having my son practice reading while my daughter practices going to the bathroom. If Sophia does her business in the potty, Sarah, Daniel and I join together in a little celebratory "potty dance" in front of Sophia which she takes great joy in watching, and she'll be also rewarded with a little treat.

In reflection, I feel like a tool doing a doing the dance, but it's all part of Sarah's plan to be encouraging and to be frank, seeing Sophia's reaction makes it worthwhile. Sophia's not close to being potty-trained, but I like the glimpses of encouragement we see in our household which can help get her there. Hopefully we can do more of this - God-willing we'll be together for a long time as a family, so we'd better learn.