Emmanuel Classic - Week 10 Recap

Millburn Mustangs over Don't Tread on Me. The good news is that I picked up a good win against a solid Don't Tread on Me squad, further cementing my playoff position. The bad news is that Michael Turner looks like he twisted his ankle pretty badly. Let's put it this way, if he's out during our playoffs, I'm pretty much sunk. Coach Cummings was largely hamstrung by the Houston Texans having a bye, putting some of his key players on the bench. With a 5-5 record, he's still very much in the hunt.

Beginner's Luck? over No Yankees. Even though Coach Tae was pretty much sunk with the NY Giants having a bye this week, I'm not sure it would've made a difference given how strong Coach Kwon's 'Luck played this past week. Kurt Warner, Brandon Marshall, and Chris Johnson all had monster games, giving Coach Kwon the highest score of the week. I have to say that the neophyte coach winning it all would make for a great movie. Here's the sample trailer:

Paramount Pictures presents... a young man in a cruel new world (scene of actor playing Rich Kwon sitting in front of his laptop in his boxers looking confused)... trying to take on the establishment (scene of actor playing Chin Ho angrily screaming, "You'll never win in this league, Kwon! What do you know about football? Just give me Dallas Clark for goodness sake!"... until one day a serendipitous event ... (scene of Coach Kwon crying the rain finding a tattered copy of Athlon's Pro Football) ... and the kindness of others (scene of actor playing Will Fehringer consoling a despondent Kwon, saying "Look Rich, I'll throw my game so you can get at least one win. I'm obviously going to make the playoffs anyway.") led to one of the greatest fantasy football stories ever told (scene of Kwon screaming victoriously thrusting his arms skyward in front of his computer).

C'mon, like you wouldn't pay to watch this movie?

Go Yankees over Pablo. A close loss and perhaps a playoff-possibility-maiming loss for Coach Huang's Pablo, who just lost to Coach Beenken's Go Yankees by a measly 3.8 points. On one hand, you can look at the past week and wonder if the downgrade from Antonio Gates to Brandon Pettigrew was the culprit (on the other side, Derrick Mason outscored Chris Chambers by 0.80 points). It would've been close, but that's Fantasy Football for you. Both of these teams are on life-support for the playoffs with six losses, and each will need to win out to make it.

Trail Mix over Cooler than Baptists. I've got to hand it to Coach Fehringer, he's a good sport given his team has had this weird effect (that Will has coined the "Baptist Bump") of making opposing teams play exceptionally well against his team. Coach Yeoh was definitely aided by a great game by Peyton Manning, but Coach Fehringer also did himself no favors by making some unfortunate starting lineup moves. Starting Mike Wallace (1.6 pts) over Jerricho Cotchery (13.8 pts) and Julius Jones (1 pt) over LaDainian Tomlinson (21 pts) proved fatal.

Punch in the Face over ANSKY. Another close win for Punch in the Face, another win for Steve Lee aided by a shrewd trade, and another painful loss by single digits for ANSKY.

Hamsters over Midgets. In what continues to be the "soft" part of Coach Cheng's schedule, his Hamsters maul the midgets, for all intents and purposes clinching a playoff spot. It's clear by now that Coach Lee and Coach Cheng are the two most brutal negotiators in the league, which is not surprising given that they're attorneys (Albert, given his corporate law life is obviously too busy billing 100 hours a week to entertain trades). Do they drive a hard bargain? Let's just put it this way - I'm glad they're on "our" side as opposed to the sleazebags on the other side of the law. This is how I'd imagine their workplace negotiations:

Lee: Okay, Paul Huang, for your heinous moving violation, I'm going to offer you 20 years, but I'm going to sweeten the pot by offering you parole after 10 years for good behavior.

Cheng: Are you kidding me? Paul, don't take that deal, I'll give you 20 years with a possibility of 8 for good behavior. All I ask is that you accept a measly $1 million fine. Can you really put a dollar amount on two precious years with your wife and child?

Huang: But I just made a turn on red...

Cheng: Can you imagine what would've happend if you hit a poor pedestrian??? I'm thinking of pulling my deal off the table, but I like you. Okay, just for Olivia's sake, I'll give you 20 years with 8 years with good behavior with a $1 million fine, and I'll give you this plastic pen from BarBri.

Lee: I'll give you Chin's deal minus the fine and give you two pens. But you strike a hard bargain, my friend.

Like I said, it's good thing they're the "good guys" in Law & Order. I just hope they can do the D.A. Jack McCoy "head shake". Chin knows what I'm talking about.

HE HATE ME over Team Singletary. In the midst of client dinners at Per Se, sucking up to partners, billing 100 hours a week (as mentioned earlier), and ruthlessly backstabbing the rest of his associate class, Coach Song is doing a heckuva job navigating his team towards playoff contention. There are hard fought victories which demonstrate the character of the team, and this wasn't one of them.

Updated Standings (Top 8 after Week 13 go to playoffs, * clinched playoff spot):

*1. Punch in the Face (Lee) 10-0-0

2 Hamsters (Cheng) 7-3-0

3 ANSKY (Lee) 6-4-0

4 Millburn Mustangs (Kuo) 6-4-0

5 Beginner's Luck? (Kwon) 6-4-0

6 No Yankees (Tae) 6-4-0

7 Don't Tread on Me (Cummings) 5-5-0

8 Trail Mix (Yeoh) 5-5-0

9 HE HATE ME (Song) 5-5-0

10 Cooler than Baptists (Fehringer) 4-6-0

11 Pablo (Huang) 4-6-0

12 Go Yankees (Beenken) 4-6-0

13 Midgets (Kang) 1-9-0

14 Team Singletary (Lin) 1-9-0