Not A Competitor, Just A Bad Loser

A great article by Phil Taylor in Sports Illustrated lifts the commonly false veneer of "fierce competitiveness" and exposes it for what it really is - poor sportsmanship. Taylor cites Lebron James' refusal to shake hands with victorious players from the Orlando Magic following the Magic's Eastern Conference Championship triumph. While a number of pundits look at actions such as these and comment laud fierce competitors who hate to lose promote creeds that a real winner who never takes losing well, or as Vince Lombardi supposedly said, "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser, period."

Taylor writes: "James has grown up in an era in which the definition of a great competitor has been badly skewed. We heap so much praise on an athlete who "hates to lose" that some players don't even recognize when that hatred goes too far. It's been said that Michael Jordan would have cheated his own grandmother to win at cards. That's not passion. That's unhealthy."

He's spot on. Sports society has wrongly promoted and deified the "fierce competitor" right along with the showboater. It's not surprising that much of these behaviors is aligned with our own base instincts to be a pompous winner and a petulant loser. 

I recently played a memory card game with Daniel, and when the game ended, I had seven pairs of "matched cards" and Daniel had six. I asked Daniel, "Who won?" and Daniel answered, "I did!" I then proceeded to ask Daniel to count how many pairs we each had, and eventually, he conceded begrudgingly (with a good amount of whining) that seven was more than six. He was not happy with it, so it led to a conversation about while he didn't need to like losing, but he needed to be fair and gracious when he lost. He could keep practicing and doing his best and maybe he would do better next time.

He then proceeded to cream me in the next game ten to three. And honestly, it wasn't like I was letting him win. His sportsmanship as a winner was better, though maybe I should cream him in some more competitions just to make sure the lesson took.