Preying on the Goodness of Others

About a year ago, my parents told me about a plight of family friend's son and daughter-in-law. Our family friends lived in Ohio, and I remember fondly a road trip that we had a taken for a few days to visit them when I was in the sixth grade or so. I was very sad, however, that our pet hamster was near-death when we returned, but I'm getting off track here.

The son, Phylip, was a few years older than I was, but was a nice guy who was pretty fun to hang out with. In my memory bank, I recall a typical Asian kid with a New Order poster over his bed and a laid-back demeanor. Nice guy, which I appreciated all the more since it went against the grain of some family friend older kids who treated me like dirt who didn't hide the fact that they had no interest in playing video games or wiffle ball with me. 

Flash forward decades later to 2008 when my parents told me of a situation where Phylip and his wife were under grave hardship, having been victims of identity fraud and cancer (which also ended up being a grave lecture to me about the dangers of identity theft). My parents had told me that Phylip's mother had written letters to a number of family friends appealing for financial help, and my parents wrote a generous check to them. 

As of late last year, my father shared with me that Phylip's sister had blown the whistle and was trying to alert people that the appeal was a scam. Things have gotten ugly, and many people within my parents' friends' church (Phylip's father and mother) were furious that they had been duped. In more recent news, prosecutors in Ohio have formally charged Phylip Chen and his wife Melanie with theft and receiving stolen property, while Phylip's parents (who as of now remain uncharged) are likely personae non gratae in the local Taiwanese community - as it's still unclear if they were knowing and willing conspirators. An even more recent update reports that Melanie Chen, who had fled Ohio, was captured in Utah, and Phylip has pleaded 'not guilty' to the charges.

It's terribly sad. I'm not going to try to get into the psychology or the motives of those who prey on people's charity, but the damage is immense. For everyone who opened their hearts and wallets to help somebody in need, how can they not help but be a little more cynical the next time someone needs a helping hand? For myself, I wonder to what degree stories like this either appropriately or inappropriately steer me away from personally helping people financially, instead only giving to faceless non-profits. It's probably this cynicism that drives me to prefer giving to the Goodwill Rescue Mission as opposed to the man sitting on the corner crying, "Can you please spare me some change so I can get something to eat?" So I need to be careful that stories like this are used as lessons that rightfully give wisdom to my charitable giving, as opposed to excuses for my own sin of not loving others as I should.