Is One Man's Pride Another's Racism?

As an ethnic minority, I've always been very sensitive to matters of race. I recognize that there's a thin line between the pride in one's ethnic background and heritage and the marginalization of others. When one embraces a distinction of their race which is regarded as positive - let's say for example, "Asians generally have a strong focus on the family" - are we by implication slighting those who aren't Asian, implying that those ethnicities do not or at least are less so? Any attempt to deny this seems disingenuous, as the observation would be meaningless unless there was a true distinction between, in this case, Asians and others.

I have an an even stronger reaction for affinity for one's own ethnicity which translates into favoritism manifested by commerce or employment. Or specifically, a desire to patronize only those who belong to a specific ethnic group, as noted in a movement amongst some blacks to buy goods and services only from other blacks. I understand the rationale of those who say that this is an issue of self-empowerment and trying to give a helping hand to a segment of those who are under-represented in the small business world.

Yet it still gives me a gut negative reaction. Let's flip it - would it offend you at all if everybody outside of your own race would refuse to buy your goods or services or hire you for a job because everyone decided to abide by a intra-ethnic commerce code? Is it kosher for an Asian entrepreneur in, let's say, fashion, who owns his own business to hire only Asian people, even if they're less qualified, in an attempt to empower members of his own race?

My sense is that personal commerce, whether it be manifested in goods that you buy or hiring decisions, need to be driven by merit. While "merit" might be debatable, I'm still not understanding the logic of purchasing a inferior product or service at a higher cost simply because of the color of the skin of the manufacturer or store owner. Doing so simply fails to incentivize the right behaviors and qualities. Just look at the automobile industry which may have been improperly buttressed by a wrong-headed "Buy American" movement.