Offensive Players
QB Alex Smith (SF - QB)
WR Roy Williams (Dal - WR)
WR Steve Smith (Car - WR)
WR Brad Smith (NYJ - WR)
RB Steven Jackson (StL - RB)
RB DeAngelo Williams (Car - RB)
TE Alex Smith (Cle - TE)
BN Troy Smith (SF - QB)
BN Steve Smith (NYG - WR)
BN Ricky Williams (Mia - RB)
K Mason Crosby (GB - K)
Defensive Players
D Derrick Johnson (KC - LB)
D Daryl Smith (Jac - LB)
DB Tramon Williams (GB - CB)
DB Alphonso Smith (Det - CB)
DL Justin Smith (SF - DE)
DL Mario Williams (Hou - DE)
BN Madieu Williams (Min - S)
BN Kyle Williams (Buf - DT)
BN Corey Williams (Det - DT)
I present to you Smith Williams LLP, a team full of players with common names, mostly Smith and Williams, though I had to throw in some Jacksons and Johnsons to fill out the roster - and there's no placekicker with a generic last name. What's amazing is my team is actually competitive and beat three teams which are being actively managed. Can you imagine how irritated those owners were to lose to a novelty team? In the alternate reality of this team, I'd love to see the head coach yell, "Hey Smith, get over here!" and have ten people turn around and ask, "Who me?"
Now to the league updates (not including this past weekend's action):
The Emmanuel Classic
The parity in this league is amazing, and there's clearly evidence that after a year under many of these team owners' belts, they are wiser and smarter. For one, people aren't making bonehead moves like trading away (cough) Tom Brady and Antonio Gates for nowhere close to value, ignoring the axiom to never deal a great player for two good ones, etc. Sure we have some guys that obviously don't care and aren't managing their teams, but as I told one manager irritated at their inactivity, "What do you want me to do? Nag them for not being a loser and wasting their time like the rest of us?" Here's where we stand:
1 Gigantor (Cummings) 6-1
Alan's put together a strong team this year, and has rattled off an important wins against the Rabid Hamsters, ANSKY, and Pablo only falling to Beginner's Luck? when key performers Matt Schaub, Miles Austin and Ricky Williams fell flat. He's since made some nice pickups, including Danny Woodhead He does have a big game coming up against yours truly, which will similarly be a "see how good we really are" game for the Sharks.
2 Wyld Stallyns (Fehringer) 6-1
Will, whose team motto is "BONVM LINGUAE PROPINQVVM LATINAE DICTVM", has only fell to the Beginner's Luck (hmm... do you see a pattern here?), while also scoring quality wins against ... almost everyone else except Gigantor. I'd have to say that Wyld Stallyns is in a good place, and his team might have steamrolled everyone else if Tom Brady was having a Tom Brady-type season, for which all hope disappeared when the Pats traded away Randy Moss. Without a superhuman Brady, WyldStallyns might be ripe to get picked off.
3 Beginner's Luck? (Kwon) 5-2
I need to again point out that Rich Kwon is a man who knew pretty much nothing about football a year ago, yet rallied to make playoffs and ended up as the runner up in our league. I'm very impressed with his squad, and with a stud QB (Drew Brees) and the best TE in the league (Antonio Gates), Rich is my midseason pick to go all the way. Strangely, even though he dealt the only loss to the only two 1-loss teams in our league, he had dropped to straight decisions (Not gonna give out free marketing).com and MoonWater at the start of the season, before realizing that there's more important things than his new teaching job and cultivating his relationship with his then new girlfriend. Since that epiphany, he's been unstoppable. Look out league.
4 (Not gonna give out free marketing).com (Yeoh) 5-2
Chris is the first person to admit that he doesn't belong in this slot, given that he's hardly touched his team, apparently too busy with his kid. To be fair, three of his wins are against people who also aren't managing their teams. The other win was against Beginner's Luck (see above comment) and MoonWater (which I can't explain). Unless Chris decided to jump back in, his team is going to get exposed soon.
5 The Rabid Hamsters (Cheng) 4-3
I love how when Chin approaches you to make a deal, he'll point out how awful your team is and how you shouldn't just take him up on his gracious offer, but you should send him a check for his generosity. This is the intense competitor that you drives the animal within. If you're going to commit a crime in Brooklyn, just don't do it on his watch. Crime never sleeps, and neither than Chin. Anyway, back to Fantasy Football... good team, mediocre receivers, but given his obsession with making moves (60 thusfar) and attention to detail, he'll likely go deep into the playoffs.
6 Short Hills Sharks (Kuo) 4-3
Not going to spend a lot of time here. I like my team - on any given day I can beat anyone else in this league. I said "can", not "will".
7 ANSKY (Lee) 3-4
I gotta say that I think Phenom Phil has backslid a little from his impressive performance last year. I know like many other Yankees fans, he's a little down, but I haven't seen the masterful waiver wire pickups and shrewd trades that I saw more of last year. Don't get me wrong, ANSKY is still a dangerous team, I just thought he'd be scoring in Gigantor or Beginner's Luck? territory. Plus he needs to step up his YouTube clip highlighting.
8 Pablo (Huang) 3-4
Now that last year's champ Steve Lee isn't around to fleece our friend Paul, Pablo has positioned himself well to break his one year playoff drought. What's going to help is that while he's 3-4, he's had a heckuva lot of points scored against him by other good teams. In other words, the law of averages should help him. Plus, he has two games left to play against the Mosquitos and (Not going to give out free marketing).com
9 MoonWater (Lien) 3-4
Rob started off so strong, including a convincing win over Beginners Luck? scoring 174 points, but has since tailed off. He hasn't been helped by crippling injuries to Michael Vick, DeSean Jackson and Dallas Clark.
10 Dennis (Lee) 2-5
I hear that Dennis is very good softball player. Apparently that didn't transfer to his non-existent and unmotivated Fantasy Football skills
11 Mosquitos (Dombrowski) 1-6
I caught a tweet from Justin conceding that "He has no idea how to play Fantasy Football". I concede that he's correct.
12 Team Singletary (Lin) 0-7
We all congratulate Luke and Branda on their beautiful new place in Summit! How about those 49ers... oops, never mind.
The Redeemer Montclair Classic
The parity in this league isn't quite there, which is to be expected in a league's first year. People are learning how to play and the growing pains of "Oh crap, I probably shouldn't have dropped Tom Brady just because he had a 'bye'" or "Wait, you mean that you don' t get points credit for players that are sitting in the bench?" or "Hey, is it a problem that my defensive players are no longer in the NFL?" must come and go. That being said, I'm glad that people in my new home church are learning how to be awful stewards of their time.
1 Shark Fin Soup (Houng) 6-1
Abe's been wicked good, the only blemish so far being an opening week loss to yours truly. He's rebounded nicely from the season-ending injury to Jessica Simpson's ex-boyfriend by trading DE James Hall or Joe Flacco? Lopsided trade, you say? Yes, you and the rest of the universe agree - with the exception of the rest of the owners of this league, apparently. In any case, look for Abe to be in the hunt to the very end - especially if he next manages to convince Randy Lovelace to trade Reggie Wayne for "an excellent kicker".
2 Chatham Coasters 6-1
Ming's continues to burn up the waiver wire, with 50 moves so far this season. This isn't a backhanded compliment, but it's impressive that he's been able to make the most with a roster which isn't all the impressive. He has a very good QB in Philip Rivers who's the league leading point getter. Beyond that, Miles Austin just isn't that impressive without Jessica Simpson's ex-boyfriend, Pierre Thomas is banged up, and Joseph Addai splits carries. C'mon, Ming, in one of those 50 moves you couldn't find a hidden gem like Arian Foster or Hakeem Nicks?
3 Short Hills Sharks 5-1-1
With my slightly underachieving squad, I've got 'em right where I want 'em.
4 BLITZkrieg 4-3
This is impressive. Pastor Erik Swanson was in the running for most neglected team for while, and then suddenly made a slew of shrewd moves. He has a stinky, but high-point getting QB in Carson Palmer, two great RB's in Chris Johnson and Arian Foster, a great WR in Roddy White. However, he has suspect individual defensive players, which might be his Achilles' heel. Most importantly, my kids are learning about Jesus in Sunday School, and for that I am very grateful for Erik's efforts towards that end.
5 Haste The Day 3-4
Len has a deceptively dangerous team. Yes he's a game under .500, but this team is explosive, with Larry Fitzgerald, Michael Turner and a surprising Brandon Lloyd. Tom Brady is steady, even if he's not putting up the Tecmo Bowl numbers he was putting up a few years ago. My bet is that he ends up on top... at least amongst the non-Asians in the league. By the way, as a tip of my cap to Len, "Haste the Day" is a Christian metal group. Don't laugh, I'm actually a fan of the Cross Movement (Christian rap).
6 Naked Mole Rats 3-4
Len's boy David is the active son in the league, and occasionally will surprise us with a burst of victories or good natured trash talk. Unfortunately, he's sort of checked out of late organizing a big paintball event. Just remember, David - paintball leaves welts and glory is fleeting - fantasy football is glory that lasts forever. Not really, but it sure sounded good.
7 Los Cranford Finest 3-5
Carlos, where are you? I'm not even talking about your fantasy team - I'm talking about Devin showing up without her better half at church recently. In any case, Carlos is doing a bang-up job with his team and making Cranford proud, leaving Sal Perednia as the Mets to Carlos' Yankees or the Nets to Carlos' Knicks.
8 Pretentious Preacher 3-5
Peter, are you playing? It's funny, Peter drops by on the league every now and then to drop people who are injured, but doesn't replace them. He played this past week with eight active players. It would be taunting if he was trying to win with just eight people, but he's not. Is this further commentary on Pastor Randy Lovelace which is going over my head?
9 No Punt Intended 2-4-1
I've gotta hand it to Andy - he's been a spoiler for my team, having pulled off an "upset" tie with my team last week after Hakeem Nicks and Lawrence Tynes both exploded last Monday night against the Cowboys. I was thrilled with the outcome for the Giants, less thrilled with the effect on my fantasy team.
10 Team Vlaanderen 2-5
Pastor Randy's doesn't have a bad team, which makes his 10th place ranking surprising. Sure, he's had his pocket picked in a terrible trade (the aforementioned Joe Flacco for James Hall trade), but all in all, this isn't a bad squad. His latest sermon series is on forgiveness, not "configuring a killer fantasy football roster", so perhaps he's not as sharp as he could be. I'm personally glad he has his priorities in order.
11 STRIKEforce 2-5
Dennis tells me that he's enjoying playing fantasy football, and I love his attitude. I think he's going to love playing it even more when he starts winning, which will lead to increasingly obsessive behavior as he scrapes to get to the playoffs, then winning in the playoffs, and then winning a championship. Maybe for his sake his team will remain mediocre.
12 Sal's Saints 2-5
We love Sal, but perhaps we can chalk his underachieving team to his cast of shady characters: Braylon Edwards (DWI), Kenny Britt (bar fight), Kellen Winslow (reckless motorcycle riding) and Ahmad Bradshaw (jail sentence for underage crimes, petty larceny) aren't exactly choir boys. Even his placekicker was charged with possession of the date-rape drug. Character counts - which is why my quarterback is Ben Roethlisberger.
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