Celebrations and Health

This past weekend we celebrated (well, "I" didn't, but my family did... more on this later) milestone birthdays for both of my parents. My brother, sister-in-law, wife and I had spent weeks planning and executing the plan, where we secretly invited 25 of my parents friends who lived reasonably close, booked a private area within a sushi buffet restaurant, and surprised them under the guise of "just a family lunch". We snuck sets of old photo albums from my parents' house and my sister-in-law selected and scanned a number of photos for a slideshow tribute, and I made a photo montage and blew it up into a 24x36 poster to be signed by the guests. Toasts and kind accolades were to be given, my parents would be surprised and the celebration would be talked about for years to come.

Almost all of this came to pass. Except I never made it out to the party.

On Friday, I was hit with a nasty case of gastroenteritis which started in the morning and got progressively worse. I had the works - nausea, vomiting and diarrhea - and I was hopeful that I would be better by Saturday morning. I wasn't, and despite my attempts to try to suck it up, it was clear Saturday morning that I was in no shape to go anywhere. My parents rejected as "crazy" my suggestion that I could drag my feeble self to lunch and just drink soup. When my parents called my brother and suggested we just postpone the family lunch since I was so ill, he somehow impressed upon them (I'm not sure how) that he really wanted to go anyway, and how they should still go even if it meant ditching his kid brother in the process. They eventually all went with my enthusiastic agreement, and I stayed at home lamenting the bad fortune of suffering my worse stomach ailment in many years on such an important day. I did manage to type up a short speech in 15 minutes which I had Sarah recite on my behalf.

The celebration was great. Not only were my parents surprised, they were genuinely moved by the actions of their sons and daughters in law and appreciated the work and care we put into it. Sarah delivered my speech to them, and my understanding is that they were touched by it. For me, I was just glad that I could now point my finger at one time where we were able to express love and appreciation in a "big way" for all the ways that my parents have been so loving and supportive of all of us. Sure, we get to do this here and there through Fathers Days, Mothers Days, birthdays, etc. but I wanted to make sure that there was at least one big moment where we could honor them among their friends. Sadly, it seems that these types of tributes sometimes only occur on the day when a loved one is eulogized at a funeral, and the grieving family is left lamenting that more wasn't said while the deceased was alive. I'm going to try not to make that mistake.

Maybe that's a lesson to learned in terms of all of our interactions with those whom we love. I remember reading an article Sports Illustrated many years ago about the tragedy in Texas A&M which claimed the lives of 12 people in a sports-related bonfire accident. One quote has always stuck with me, even to this day:

In the hours after the tragedy former A&M athletic director John David Crow had spoken to Brown on the phone. Crow, whose only son was killed in a traffic accident in 1994, said to (University of Texas Coach Mack) Brown, "You tell your kids, 'Don't ever hang up the phone from somebody dear to you without telling them you love them, because it may be the last time you talk to them.' " When Brown tried to relay that story at the Touchdown Club of Houston luncheon on Nov. 24, he glanced over at Crow and began to cry.

Interestingly, in addition to being sensitive to the frailty of life, being sick also reminded me of my own mortality and weakness. Being sick is a miserable experience (stating the obvious, I know), and the enjoyment of so many things in life - whether it's spending time in leisure with people we love, eating delicious food, reading a great book, or watching a engrossing movie - is severely dampened when experienced in a constant state of pain, weakness or nausea. Given that I had a 72-hour stomach bug, I am more appreciative and sympathetic to those who have much more severe and chronic conditions. My sickness has certainly given me a stronger appreciation for my health.