The Worst Pain in the World

Last week, I read news stories on consecutive days which made me think about what is arguably the worst pain that one could suffer in the world - the loss of a child. On Monday night, a 16-year-old boy, Michael Cisternas, from Hauppauge, Long Island was killed in a car crash in a car driven by a friend. The friends were on their way back from a church youth group meeting when the car hit a mailbox and slid into a tree.

A day earlier, I read about the death of Vikas Parikh, a 16-year-old from Rocky Hill, CT, who died as a result of a school bus accident Saturday on I-84 in Hartford on his way to a robotics competition with 15 other classmates from the Greater Hartford Academy of Math and Science.

My heart and prayers go out to the parents of Michael and Vikas. I can't imagine the pain that they're experiencing at this moment, and it's a stark reminder of the frailty of life and the preciousness of each moment that we have with our loved ones.

Losing anyone that you love is tremendously difficult, but there's something about losing a child which just seems all the more unbearable. In the movie Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, I remember watching a scene where Théoden, King of Rohan, tells Gandalf in despair and angst over his son's Théodred's grave, "No parent should have to bury their child." I thought it was pretty moving scene, but as a man without children at the time, I don't think I appreciated the horror of such a loss as much as I do now, having two children who I love dearly.

I know of people who have experienced this tragedy, and some of the sentiments shared go along the lines of "you never really ever recover from something like that" and "there's just a sense of loss that remains - it's not that God doesn't heal, but part of the pain never goes away". People who have experienced this tragedy and have who have also experienced things such as job loss, sickness, and divorce maintain that the loss of their child being much worse than those other calamities.

And it's the gravity of the loss of a child which perhaps gives us an ever better understanding the depths of God's love for us. As Christian personal finance guru Dave Ramsey once shared in a video I watched, he had one day gone downstairs early in the morning to his study to read his Bible, and was soon joined by his young son who asked if he could sit with him. After some time reading the Gospel of John and looking at his boy sitting in his pajamas, Ramsey broke down sobbing as a truth dawned upon him: He had read the same passage about "God so loving the world and giving his only begotten son" numerous times and embraced it, but it was at that moment while looking at his son did he realize the power of that act and depths of the Father's love. "Give up my son to die for others?" said Ramsey, "I don't think I could do it. No deal."

Could it be that that sending One's Son to die for others is even more mind-blowing than laying down One's life for others? Somehow our Triune God has done both.